In light of our prayerful journey in re-launching Lift Your Voice ministries, I thought it would be a good time to write on a topic I've been meaning to write about for a long time, namely, God's will.
Confession: I am a perfectionist and am afraid of making mistakes, especially making wrong decisions.
Because of this, I have lived in paralyzing anxiety over how to handle situations in my life. I would pray, but not hear an answer. I would read the Bible, but find no clarity. What if I made the wrong choice? What if I missed something God had for me? What if...? I could question my little life choices until the cows came home. Thankfully, my anxiety has improved along with my faith through, you guessed it, trials and struggles.
I discovered a key component to discerning God's will in a previous relationship. I had been praying before the relationship, and praying during the relationship, but I didn't know if it was "right." By this time, I was in my early 20s and I didn't believe in casual dating. I was dating to found a spouse, a life-time partner and companion. I was greatly conflicted, because my emotions and logic were tangled in a lovely mess. Part of me wanted to tell my brain to chill, while the other part of me wanted to tell my heart to quit interfering. People always say "listen to your heart," as if the heart and emotions are trustworthy. God himself speaks on this in Genesis 8:21, stating that "every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood." I continued to live in doubt, doubting my choices and doubting what God had for me.
Somewhere along in the relationship, I talked to my parents over my dilemma. My father wisely said to give it to God by praying "Lord, if this is your will, bless this relationship. If not, take it away. I give it to you." I was confused, because I thought I had been praying that. I realized my mouth had said the words, but my heart and my soul had not backed those words. When I finally became desperate and no longer cared if I lost the relationship, I prayed, "God, I want your will. Please bless this or take it away. I don't need him God, I need you." True to God's promise that He answers prayer, the relationship ended within the next few days. It hurt, I cried, but I had never been more at peace or more sure that I had made the right decision.
Ok, Jane, you're saying, that's all nice and your love life is fascinating, but what does this have to do with finding God's will, and why are you sharing this now?
Excellent question!
After that relationship ended, my new life motto and prayer was "Bless it or take it away." That simple. And it was liberating. I learned in my single months that God is not an eight ball you shake for answers nor a genie who gives you whatever you want, but a loving Friend and Father who gives you what you need. I learned that God wanted very little from me, that all He desired was a close relationship with me and that I love others as He loves. Love God, love others. Seek to please Him. It wasn't a matter of a checklist, or simple yes and no's. It was a daily walk with God. It was freedom to choose within His will, too. As long as I was in prayer and seeking His face with my hands not grasping onto anything, claiming things as my own, God would not steer me wrong. Things and people could pass in and out of my life without me fearing the outcome, because I was not in control, and that is a wonderful place to be.
In light of Lift Your Voice ministries, my prayer is the same: "Lord, bless this ministry by providing the things you know we need and bringing people into our lives that will help us and encourage us along the way. This ministry is yours. If this ministry is not your will, withhold your blessing, and take it away. Though we feel this is right, we want what you know is right. We trust you, Lord. Amen."
May you live in peace as you seek God through a relationship with Him and allow him to "bless or take away" things in your life.
God's peace be with you,
Jane
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